A Silly Putty Story

God forbid this happens to you. I wish it on nobody very few.

So there I was, making my way through Target on a serious shopping trip picking up last minute necessities for our trip to Disney World (we leave tomorrow), with both toddlers in tow, alone.

Venturing anywhere in public with a 4 year old and a 2 year old and nobody to co-parent is a desperate move that I do not advise.

As I raced through the store throwing stuff in the cart, I knew my time was limited. There is always a race to the finish in Target when you've brought your kids along, because for some reason, Target is more of a "fun zone" for them than Toys R Us itself.

Well played, Target, well played.

"I want a prize!!!"

It was LOUD, and it was on REPEAT.

"You can have one if you're good the whole time in the store."

My standard response.

I raced through the store at lightning-behind-a-cart-with-70-extra-pounds-in-it-speed grabbing what I need and barely double-checking the details I would normally spend several minutes pondering (unimportant things, such as the price, and the brand...you know). As I'm about to hit the checkout counter exuberantly toy AND tantrum-free, the 4 year old suddenly realizes the situation.

No toys had entered the cart, despite the fact that he'd been sitting quietly with my iPhone the entire shopping trip.

This level of injustice could not. be. allowed.

A lawyer's kid.
Go figure.

It got very LOUD, very quickly. Little sister immediately joined the fray.

That's when it happened. Despite all my better instincts, panic took over. I had a fight or flight reflex, and flight won.

I grabbed two silly putties (aka the cheapest things I could find in the area of the store we were walking through), threw them in the cart, and continued on my way to the register.

The crying stopped.

"Magic!" I thought.

The silly putty was cheap, it stopped the crying, and I wasn't the mean mommy who promised a prize and never delivered.

We departed the store with me feeling victorious, and the kids feeling content.

WIN.

That was yesterday.

This is what happened this morning:

LOSE.
As in, YOU LOSE, you desperate, smug loser.

That may not look too awful, but it also happened to my couch cushion.

As in my new couch cushion. My new, premium-brand-custom-designed-not-even-paid-off-yet couch cushion.

If you've ever been around silly putty, then you already know what I was feeling at this point.

To say I was angry would be an understatement.
It's not really possible to put how I was feeling into words.
I'll use a picture instead.


Hal's face.
Hal is absolutely the best Bryan Cranston character ever.
Yes, I said that.

Silly putty STAINS fabric permanently. If left on for more than a few seconds, it sinks in, dries, and is impossible to remove.

They might as well have drawn on my couch with a sharpie.

We caught the stains about an hour into the putty's drying process. It wasn't too late, but the outlook was initially grim.

After some panicked research online which advised the application of WD-40, I was feeling hopeless. While WD-40 may actually work, there was NO WAY I was putting that on my couch cushion. The thought of putting any kind of oily substance on my beautiful (but more importantly, not paid off yet) upholstery fabric terrified me. To put it lightly.

As I speed-read scrolled through the comments on some website I found, I saw the words "DAWN."

I glanced at my sink. I had Dawn!

I didn't even bother to read the rest of the comments. I grabbed the Dawn, squeezed big globs of it onto my couch cushion, let it sit for a few minutes, and then started scraping with a butter knife. I didn't know if it would work, but I had to do something, and I had to do it quickly.

Here is the result:

Not perfect, but so much better.
If you could see the nonexistent "before pic" of this, you'd be REALLY impressed.

There was a BIG orange stain there. The Dawn worked a much-needed miracle!

HOWEVER.

I paid many extra $$$'s to have industrial-grade stain repellant applied to my baby the entire couch, including that cushion.

You pay these extra costs when you have toddlers and/or dogs and/or sloppy habits with red wine.

The same was not so for the cheap innocent blue pillow above.

I tried the same Dawn-approach with the pillow, but the lack of stain-repellant combined with the much cheaper fabric made the situation critical.

So...

I Soaped, Scraped, Repeated.

As many times as it took.

 

 

 

After a certain point, the Dawn reached the end of its capabilities. The putty was mostly gone, but the orange color from the putty remained.

That's when I brought out the big guns.

If you like clean things, you need this in your life.
Trust.

Branch Basics works on everything. It works better than any cleaning product I have ever used, EVER.

It is MAGIC IN A very expensive BOTTLE.

The best part, though, is that it's non-toxic. You can use it for dishes, laundry, carpet, upholstery, and even bathing soap!

I am not being paid to endorse this product.
It just works that well.
For reals.

The Branch Basics was my last resort. If it didn't work, I knew nothing would.

I followed the Dawn process above with the same routine, substituting the Branch Basics for the soap.

Branch Basics, Scrape, Repeat.

Here's the result.

It's not perfect by any means. The fabric on this little guy is never going to look like new in that spot (mostly because of the scraping). But, the putty has been removed, and the orange stain is gone.

I can't guarantee this will work for all silly putty-related tragedies, but it worked for me in this particular situation. If you find yourself in the same quandary, all I can say is...Godspeed.

And also, stay away from the silly putty aisle from now on (until the kids are older, at least).

Tempting as it is, it's just not a good idea.

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